Thursday, September 01, 2005

New Home, New Questions

I finally feel I have a minute to write. Erika and I did a power move Tuesday night with the help of her family. We couldn't have done it without them.

Now we're in a new house _ with more space than we've ever had before _ much more than our last place. There are closets and hutches and cabinets and store rooms... I am a perfectionist, an organizer and a neatnik, so my mind grinds as we figure out what to put where. I want it to be just right. And it will be just right. So what more can I tell myself? ... ... ... it will be just right... ... ... I want it to be just right... ... ... such is the operation of my mind.

I think I should challenge myself to relax and take things in stride, not only in this situation, but in general. Can a person change his/her behavior? Maybe. I don't know. I can only try myself. It takes effort. It is uncomfortable. Should we fight our natural tendencies. Can a child's mind be molded despite its natural tendencies because it has no knowledge of them? I am no longer a child _ as much as my generation wishes a 29 year old could be a child. I don't know.

And what is an adult? Can there be more than one idea? Are artistic pursuits adult pursuits? Is the dissolution of dreams and the laying aside of ambitions _ aside from those which further the "home" adult? I don't know.

Enough. We need a shower curtain.

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