Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Guns for Hire

One of pro football's more curious aspects emerged on the heels of this weekend's New York Jets match. After losing their starting quarterback, Chad Pennington, along with his backup, Jay Fiedler, in the same game, the Green Machine found themselves dangerously low on signal callers _ their playoff hopes dissipating like morning mist off the Jersey swamp.

With no other choice, Jets brass started calling every out-of-work quarterback with NFL experience. There is a hidden pool of players currently out of the league that can be hired in such an emergency situation: Tim Couch, Vinny Testeverde, Jeff George, Quincy Carter...

I picture, say, Kordell Stewart working offshore on a clam boat. He's pulling up the nets when the shortwave crackles to life. It's Ravens owner Art Modell. Kyle Boller went down on Sunday. When can you get here? Stewart rends his coveralls revealing a Ravens uniform and full pads. He dons his helmet and dives into the cold waters of the Chesapeake Bay, heading toward Baltimore.

Who doesn't love a rags-to-riches story? One minute you're counting turnips in New Hampshire, the next you're running a bootleg at the Meadowlands.

I know it's a long list, so I expect Herm Edwards won't call till after lunch... ... ... Lemme check my voice mail again...

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