Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dresden Dolls are Back in Style

Which musical group can claim the "World's Most Annoying Fans?" I remember once, in 1994, a Cincinnati record store clerk call Guided By Voices' fans the most annoying. Now that that venerable Dayton act has disbanded, whose supporters have moved in to fill the void? I'm gathering, from my research on The Fall, that their fans were probably at one point the "World's Most Annoying."

Qualifications for "World's Most Annoying Fans" should include...
_ Preference for certain "eras" of the group, and should have a strong opinion as to which was the group's creative pinnacle.
_ Interest in hard-to-find releases and import records. Should own American and European releases of all major albums by the group.
_ Knowledge of group's lyrics and low threshold of self-control while inebriated for singing loudly along to live performances or spins on the jukebox.
_ Should have at least five anecdotes about the primary member of the group for quick use at shows or record stores. Anecdotes about the group's producers are a plus.
_ Secret desire to write the definitive book about the group is strongly perferred.

Snow Beat

I feel like Ted's old landlord Marty Kaufman -- I'm eating Sbarro pizza. The Cracker' Factory's replacement microwave -- the one sent to replace the broken one -- was itself broken in shipping. The Cracker Factory probably doesn't get the NFL Network, either, which will prevent me from watching the Ravens-Bengals game. Thank you, NFL Network. I only have this WeBLoG upon which to project my nervous energy and boredom... and... What's that? Yes, the search for a new Cracker Factory location has gone well, this past week. There are two strong candidates. Hopefully one of them will come through. It never moves fast enough, eh?

No snow visible, yet.

Winter Offensive v.4.5

I slipped on our front steps this morning. Our front steps are already slick with a glossy paint job. Add some invisible, frozen moisture and... yes. I'm generally a nimble fellow, and I've slipped before. When I hit the first step, I grabbed the red railing, hoping to save face. I put my foot down on the next step, which was just as bad, and knew I had no choice but to give in to falling. I suppose there's a psychotheraputic axiom in there somewhere, but it didn't help much as I tilted backward and smacked the left side of my body on the hard, wooden steps. It sounds bad, but only a small bruise on my forearm remains. Live and learn. Winter 2006.

The snow hype has Chicago bracing for the worst. It's set to begin in a few hours. At least I won't have to walk home from the Loop again. A little red wine, a little goat cheese and good ol' Jim Rome on the other end should melt away any late-night commuting accumulation.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Holiday Parentheticals

Teeth aside (though they did get a workout this past Thursday), Erika and I enjoyed our Thanksgiving. Erika worked hard to cook a spectacular feast for Marie and I, while her mom brought over a meat turkey. Highlights included broccoli faux-cheese casserole, seitan turkey and stuffing loaf, New York-style cheesecake and fine Bitburger beer in tallboy cans that I enjoyed while listening to the Broncos-Chiefs game on the radio because the freaking NFL put the freaking night game on the freaking NFL Network (We don't have cable).

What else? The leftovers were just as good. The rest of the weekend sailed along pleasantly, leaving me with a taste for my next extended break (only 26 days to go).


Hello everybody,
I hope you had a fine holiday. I can fill you in on the details of our Thanksgiving, shortly. Before that, I would like to write out here my renewed commitment -- commitment to taking better care of my teeth.

I have terrible teeth. I was making good inroads to having them better two years ago, but fell off due to (short-term) money trouble and (long-term) laziness. Now that I'm a little more mature, I want to take care of what I have (left). I'm guessing I'll need at least one tooth extraction. I don't want to have anymore pulled after that, and I want my teeth to be happier in the future. They deserve it. You read it here, folks.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Night Shift Forever

There's been a lot of hand-wringing in here about real-world problems, but I remember a time when Woundup was primarily, yes, a frivilous form of entertainment. You never knew when a bit of humorous dialogue would break out...

Phil: Did you see this? Ramirez got... $36 million...
Tom: No.
Phil: Says right here.
Tom: Huh.
Phil: That's a lot of money.

When a bit of humorous dialogue would break out...

Phil: Did you see this? Ramirez got... $36 million...
Tom: That's a lot of money.
Phil: That's what I was going to say.
Phil: Huh.

Humorous dialogue would break out...

Phil: Did you see this? Ramirez--
Tom: Got $36 million.
Phil: I was just--
Tom: You were just going to say that.
Phil: H--
Tom: Huh.
Tom: You know, Phil, we've been working together four years now. You never once asked me how was my weekend.
Phil: How was--
Tom: I had to work over the weekend.
Phil: Well... how was it?
Tom: I ordered a pizza.
Phil: You... you had a pizza delivered here?
Tom: Yeah. I do it all the time.
Phil: Where do you--
Tom: Pete's. It's on Livernois.
Phil: Huh.
Phil: What did you get on it?
Tom: Cheese... just cheese...
Phil: Do you want to order a pizza now?
Tom: I just ate dinner.
Phil: Do you mind if I order a pizza?
Tom: No... if you really want to.
Phil: What do you mean?
Tom: You're gonna have a lot of leftovers. What're you gonna do with all that pizza?
Phil: I'll save it.
Tom: We don't have any... aluminum foil... nothing.
Phil: I'll wrap it in a paper towel.
Tom: The grease will leak thru it.
Phil: I'll order a small.
Tom: Pete's doesn't make a small. Just medium and large.
Phil: How many pieces in a medium.
Tom: I don't know.
Phil: I'm going to order one.
Tom: Go ahead.
Phil: Do you have the number?
Tom: No.
Phil: How do you order the pizzas?
Tom: Larry knows it.
Phil: Larry?
Tom: Yeah.
Tom: Larry's off tonight.
Phil: Jesus...
Tom: Don't get angry.
Phil: I'm not angry.
Phil: Y'know... y'know, Tom... all this time we worked together... you never asked me how my weekend was.
Phil: You never--
Tom: How was your weekend?
Phil: It was all right.
Phil: Do you wanna read about Ramirez?
Tom: I already looked at it.
Phil: $36 million...
Phil: I'm hungry.

Monday, November 20, 2006

He Basically Recycles Stuff He Wrote 3 Years Ago

Man, I could go for a grilled cheese and fries. Where can I find one at this hour? Eating options are very limited after 6 p.m. Jane Jacobs would probably snicker at my predicament, as I'm trapped in this single-use (soul-withering office work) district. Oh, wherefor art thou, Big Herm's?

Reversal of Man (I want my $6 back, please)

It's been a tough one in the Woundup camp today, and that feeling of desolation -- maybe it's a holiday slowdown -- continues. I was musing last week how I haven't had "one of those weeks" in a while -- you know, where everything seems to go wrong. I can't say my problems are the worst. Erika had an even tougher day, so I should really just relax.

The Cracker Factory microwave broke Friday, and I had a very naiive hope that it would either be fixed or replaced by today. Of course it wasn't, so I had a nice dinner of Chex Mix and Kozy Shack rice pudding. Well, I'll warm up this bloody TV dinner when I get home.

We're hosting Thanksgiving dinner Thursday for our families and some good friends. Now, I have two choices of how I can anticipate it: 1. With dread. 2. With less dread. Wait, that's not very positive, is it? I shouldn't worry. I shouldn't worry about anything. No. Though things seem bleak and unpeopled, hope and opportunity are but a few pretzel stix away.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Isolation Isn't Just an Island in Spain

I haven't gotten an e-mail all day from a real person. The only e-mail that's popped up in my mailbox that wasn't an ad had to be written... by me. I had to write myself as part of a group e-mail. There you go. Thursday, Nov. 16, 2006.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Answer

It's time for reader mail, which means Picodiribibi's romp through 2002 memories has come to a close. There were a few more posts after this on the original site, but they were record reviews and didn't pertain much to our android friend.

Yes, I have indeed lost the city council episode forever. You might remember it involved Picodiribibi and his creator pitching a production of Ionesco's "Rhinoceros" to the Orland Park City Council for the city's annual community theater show. You can probably guess their response.

I promise you, Woundup reader, that I will not let these stories die a second time. Find them by using the link at right.

Will Picodiribibi come back? I don't know... maybe.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Luckiest Man in the World

I think I should just use this space to talk about my wife. You don't really need to know anything else about me that hasn't already been said.

Erika, besides being a gifted writer, is a gifted vegan chef. Her food helped me smoothly transition into vegetarianism. Last night, Erika ascended the heavenly, gastronomical steps. She marinated seitan in barbecue sauce and orange juice, coupled it with shell macaraoni and vegan cheese, and completed the menu with steamed broccoli. Every meal she makes is delicious, but this one... wow. And I'm eating the leftovers right now. Incredible.

I had it yesterday with a bottle of Chimay Grand Reserve while watching the Bears beat the Giants. There's no better Sunday night!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Our Time is Passing, Old Friend

You can go a little batty around midnight looking for old music footage on YouTube. Is it time to gripe? Well, as a person who came of age in an era of technological transition (the '90s), I feel that, though mass, shared archives like YouTube do benefit music fans, it makes it a little too easy. I remember I bought the first two Suicide albums on one CD at a Blockbuster Music (remember those?) in 1996. Now you can just punch it in and find it in seconds. Where's the fun in that? I suppose those of earlier generations would chide me for my own luck, having benefitted from the re-issue explosion of said '90s. I didn't have to grub through as many record store bins, for sure.

We all know where this is headed... cranial downloads. But what if you ordered Amon Duul 2 and got Brazil '66 instead?
No Joke

They don't make 'em like this anymore.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Man, I was an Ed Bradley fan. I enjoyed his in-depth interviews on "60 Minutes," and I felt he was the best part of that program. He left us too soon, for sure. A lot of good folks gone this year.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Catching You Up


_ Woundup Corp.: the company that hosts this site
_ Cracker Factory: Woundup's facility on Chicago's "Magnesium Mile" (W. Hubbard St.)
_ Tom Blister: Woundup CEO. currently in rehab for peppermint schnapps addiction
_ 7-Person Content Team: creators of Woundup's youth-focused daily content
_ Ethan Kraputnik: head of the 7-Person Content Team. currently in rehab for internet dating addiction
_ Patty Hanratty: Woundup Corp. HR head. just ran her first marathon on Sunday!
_ Picodiribibi: the Orland Park android. current roaming consultant
_ Jorge Esquivaillo: Cuban defector and underused Woundup Corp. spokesman
_ lil' Judy Woundup: an infant adopted by Woundup Corp. who will, on her 18th birthday, challenge CEO Tom Blister to a knife fight for control of the company

Monday, November 06, 2006


Please wish Erika congratulations next time you speak to her. One of her poems is going to be published in Double Room -- a prose poetry journal. It is very unusual for them to accept work from an unpublished writer like Erika, so this is a great achievement.

Since I first met her, Erika has won two college poetry awards and used her writing to win her weight in beer, which helped supply our wedding. I am very lucky to know this wonderful writer.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Woundup... Not a Nice Guy

The loving couple had a fine time last night at the Rainbo. It's been too long. And tonight... well, we'll probably go to that Reader book swap. Erika and I are book people, so it seems like a match. I might be able to unload some of these music books. Yes, my collection of music culture pseud-lit sticks out like so many malformed creations on the shelves of our oaken bookcases. Jazz is all right, though. The rest... keep it.

In other news... in anticipation of next week's election, Woundup endorses Swim Cafe in its campaign for official Woundup coffeehouse over incumbent Atomix. Cafe Ballou is the third-party candidate, but has failed to gather support due to a questionable stance on zoning laws. Let's get out and vote, folks.