Thursday, July 06, 2006

My Old Diamond Days

Today, while driving me to work, Erika asked if I would ever like to be a little league coach. My knowledge of The Game, she said, would make me an ideal candidate. I was touched, truly. I didn't know she trusted me so. It also made me think of our next life together, as parents.

But, as I tried to explain, I don't really know how to play baseball. I never played little league. I never played tee ball, even. I played on the sandlot and in gym class... and not very well. Sure, I've read about the hit-and-run, suicide squeeze and double steal, but I've never executed any of them in real life.

Erika thought I might do well as a motivator, or as an assistant to the head coach. Well... I could keep a tome of inspirational verse at hand in trying times.

Timmy: Coach, we're down 21-4. What are we gonna do?
Mark: Well, in times like these, I think of Tennyson. What did he say? Yes, "My strength is as the strength of ten, Because my heart is pure."
(long pause)
Mark: The Pizza Hut has a grabber machine.
Timmy: Do you have any quarters?
Mark: Get up there and bat, kid.

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