CAST OF CHARACTERS:
_ Woundup Corp.: the company that hosts this site
_ Cracker Factory: Woundup's facility on Chicago's "Magnesium Mile" (W. Hubbard St.)
_ Tom Blister: Woundup CEO. currently in rehab for peppermint schnapps addiction
_ 7-Person Content Team: creators of Woundup's youth-focused daily content
_ Ethan Kraputnik: head of the 7-Person Content Team. currently in rehab for internet dating addiction
_ Patty Hanratty: Woundup Corp. HR head. just ran her first marathon on Sunday!
_ Picodiribibi: the Orland Park android. current roaming consultant
_ Jorge Esquivaillo: Cuban defector and underused Woundup Corp. spokesman
_ lil' Judy Woundup: an infant adopted by Woundup Corp. who will, on her 18th birthday, challenge CEO Tom Blister to a knife fight for control of the company
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