Friday, February 17, 2006

Quiet Moments with Ethan

I feel I can write now with a little more confidence. Ethan Kraputnik here. I'm the editor... well, I already told you that. We're working with technical to get individual sign'on's... if, in fact, this multiple posting idea will continue. I have my... well, opinions, on that, I guess... I don't know.

You know, he didn't always come to the office. He used to come in once a year. Now he's here all the time. I think it's because his... his wife left him. A few months ago. This is... like a little game to him. It's his little toy. He already has a lot of... investments. He used to make guns for the Israeli military. Over in the Middle East in the 80's. Now he bought this site _ he thought this kind of thing would make, uh, more money.

He's in here all the time. He wants to post all the time. He wants to post and he wants me to show him around _ show him how things work. And he's harassing the female content team members.

Maybe... you're wondering what he is. What is he? Maybe you think he's a, uh, a fictional construction. This is a dangerous thing, maybe? That he is an outlet for the author to... dress up... as a chauvanistic pig _ without endorsing that kind of behavior, uh, directly? Having your cake and eating it. You get to be a, uh, macho asshole AND a sensitive, uh, liberated man.

Is that right? I don't know. I don't make the rules around here. Maybe we can sublimate him. There are other types of humor. Maybe he's going to... he's going to win. He's going to beat me, in particular. Maybe literally. He might have a heart attack. I think he still smokes... He's passed out... in the employee lounge. Sometimes he comes here at night _ he lets himself in and, uh, he drinks in the office. By himself. I don't want to be here when he... wakes up. He's going to make me order a pizza. I've got a lot of work to do here.

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