Monday, February 14, 2005

Juicin' 2: Liquid Snob

For all my crowing about relaxation yesterday, I'm finding it difficult to get things started.

In the past I would've turned to the help of , uh, substances. Yes, I was once a WeBLoG juicer. A large part of my career has been darkened by the hand of blog-enhancing drugs.

In fact, I'm writing a book about it. I was even asked to do a little interview on the Timmy Thomas show (CAN-TV) to be aired tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Here's an excerpt...

Thomas: Do you admit to using blog-enhancing drugs?
Donahue: Absolutely.
T: What did you use?
D: Vitrodine, which is synthetic vitriol. I cut that with an irony enhancer like Symptrol. I also injected Cavex, which is a taken directly from the pituitary gland of a French existentialist. It boosts levels of alienation.
T: You've said this behavior is rampant in the WeBLoG industry.
D: I would say 80% of all bloggers use blog-enhance substances.
T: And you've also said you're willing to name names of those who are using.
D: I could tell you one right now.
T: Okay.
D: That'll be 50 bucks.

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